In the Mood for Chaos: A Riverdale Roasting and Recap Podcast

Riverdiary #9: Reggie Mantle

He was barely around in season one, but Reggie's sure trying to make up for lost time here in season 2. The Jingle-Jangle juggling jock who can NOT stop talking about sex weighs in on the recent and increasingly strange developments in Riverdale.

What does he think of Archie's vigilante ideas? How'd he feel about Jason? Why does he make SO many references to his dick? Surely the answers can be found in his diary.

 

Written and recorded by: Miranda
(Who was really pushing the limit on how many sex jokes she could fit in this one...HEYO)

 

Content Warnings:

- Death

- Gun violence (brief mention)

- Pedophilia (briefly implied)

- Toxic masculinity

 

Music:
'Imps' by Mark Revell
'Super Spiffy' by David Fesliyan - via Fesliyan Studios

Riverdiary #8: FP Jones

Poor FP had a lot more to worry about in season 1 than we thought.  Where's a serpent to purge all these anxieties but the ever-available shoulder to cry on called a diary?

He's a tough guy, whose dealt with tough things...but Riverdale has a way of bringing people to new lows and FP is no exception. Even with a whole biker gang on his side, there's only so much he can do when up against the likes of the Blossoms. 

He's also got to deal with having Jughead as a kid and that's difficult enough as it is.

Written and recorded by: Evelyn
(Who manages to neatly sum up a ridiculous plot thread or two IN CHARACTER better than Riverdale does)

 

Content Warnings:

- Alcohol (beer, brief mention)

- Blackmail/extortion

- Death

- Murder

 

Music:
'Imps' by Mark Revell
'Blood Money' by David Fesliyan - via Fesliyan Studios

Riverdiary #7: Cheryl Blossom

At last, we touch on the ancient house of Blossom. No one's had an easy go of it on this show, but Cheryl really seems to consistently be getting the short end of the stick, what with her family either being dead (Jason), hating her (Penelope), or both (Clifford). 

Without her twin, her diary is her only confidant now. In some ways, it's not so different: Her brother was just as blank as the pages in a notebook!

 

Written and Recorded by: Miranda
(Who took this as an excuse to apply red lipstick despite not leaving her room, let alone her house.)

 

Content Warnings:

- Arson (brief mention)

- Classism

- Death threats

- Drugging/drug use (brief mention)

- Grief

- Gun violence (brief mention)

- Incest (brief mention)

- Parental abuse/neglect (implied) 

 

Music:

'Imps' by Mark Revell

'Mastermind' by Steve Oxen - via Fesliyan Studios

 

Riverdiary #6: Hal Cooper

Rounding off the Cooper household's POV, we have The Cuck himself here to vent about the state of things.

Try as he might to stay on top of all the new and increasingly wild developments, there's only so much one can do when one lives in a town like Riverdale. 

(This one's a bit darker than the previous entries, as a heads up) 

 

Written and recorded by: Evelyn
(Who should be commended for voicing a Dad as well as she has despite her inexperience with them)

 

Content Warnings:

- Abortion (Implied, brief mention)

- Death

- Emotional abuse/manipulation

- Gaslighting

 

Music:

"Imps" by Mark Revell
"No More Good" by David Fesliyan via Fesliyan Studios

Riverdiary #5: Alice Cooper

You know the Queen Snoop of Riverdale has plenty of thoughts on the townsfolk and those thoughts have to go somewhere. A journalist by nature, she is more than happy to air her many grievances by putting pen to paper.

That is, when she's not too busy ignoring everyone's boundaries, or daydreaming about a hunky, devil-may-care Southsider.

 

Written and recorded by: Miranda
(Which was a real test of her breath control)

 

Content Warnings:

- Death

- Emotional abuse/manipulation

- Invasion of Privacy/surveillance

- Paranoia (implied)

 

Music:
'Imps' by Mark Revell
'Scouting Mission' by David Fesliyan via Fesliyan Studios

Riverdiary #1: Jughead Jones

We're still here! We want to keep doing this! But it would be deeply irresponsible to get together to record. So in the meantime...

Miranda and Evelyn present: The Riverdiaries

We can't record recaps, but we still want to put out content. Each week, we'll alternate dramatic readings of diary entries from the citizens of Riverdale.

First up: You knew he was a novelist (is he though?), but did you know he's also a diarist?

 

Written and Recorded by Miranda
(and you KNOW she was wearing a beanie the whole time)

 

Content Warnings:

- Alienation

- Death (brief mention, implied)

- Nihilism

 

Music: 'Imps' by Mark Revell 
'Grief and Emptiness' by Steve Oxen - via Fesliyan Studios 

 

Riverdiary #4: Betty Cooper

The OG diarist of the Archie-verse herself weighs in on the strange goings on about town. There sure is a lot of weirdness isn't there...luckily, she works at a student newspaper, so she's basically a detective.

How does she feel about Veronica? What are her theories on who killed Jason? Where does she think Polly went? We just don't know, folks. Neither does she, but in the spirit of the show, she'll write about it anyway.

 

Written and recorded by: Evelyn
(Who would rather compliment Jughead than so much as hint at the existence of 'Dark Betty')

 

Content Warnings:

- Death 

 

Music:

'Imps' by Mark Revell
'Quiet Time' by David Fesliyan via Fesliyan Studios

Riverdiary #3: Veronica Lodge

Time to hear the perspective of Riverdale's resident robot: Veronica! We've already gotten a glimpse of what's going on for the boys of the main four "teens", now let's get the situation from the girls' perspective.

It isn't easy being new in town, especially when people are paying more attention to a dead body than you. How unfair. That's when it helps to have somewhere to put all your thoughts down. Like a diary. Or a memory bank.

 

Written and recorded by Miranda
(Who learned a whole lot about the effects in Audacity this week)

 

Content Warnings: 

- Classism

- Death (implied, brief mention)

 

Music: 'Imps' by Mark Revell
'Fancy Date' by Steve Oxen via Fesliyan Studios

Sounds effects via Fesliyan Studios

Riverdiary #2: Archie Andrews

In the second entry of this project Miranda and Evelyn are undertaking during the forced hiatus of regularly scheduled programming, we hear from the "Ginger Judas" himself!

Be amazed by his every-day observations! Ogle his prowess as a creator! Marvel at his perspicacity!
Just kidding, he STILL doesn't know what nicknames are. 

 

Written and Recorded by Evelyn
(With special guest appearance: Twig the dog!)

 

Content Warnings:

- Death (implied, brief mention)

 

Music: 'Imps' by Mark Revell
'Smilin' and Vibin'' by David Renda via Fesliyan Studios

Chapter 14: I Don't Like That (With Special Guest: Cinna)

Well, well, well if it isn't season 2 here to punch us all collectively in the gut with absurd developments. 

This week we welcome Miranda's brother, and resident motorcycle expert, Cinna, to the show. He has never seen Riverdale, AND he's never read the comics so we recap the important parts of season 1 for him...which is unsurprisingly of very little help. It's to his credit that his head didn't explode a third of the way in.

Starting right where season 1 left off, everyone hangs around the hospital until 'Bughead' goes to look for clues, and Archie decides that a good use of his time while his father is clinging to life by a thread is to have shower sex. Cheryl delivers the most hardcore line of the show so far, Riverdale has its own, ridiculously named drug we've never heard about before, and yet another Dad enters the competition for the title of "King DILF"

Evelyn finally has a taste of the dread Miranda feels every week, but recovers after leeching the strength from two people instead of just one, and we discuss her struggles with learning to see infrared dads. Miranda rages and nearly breaks her glasses again. Cinna reveals what he thought Jughead's hat was, curses us with truly upsetting ASMR, and gives us a sneak peek at the next hit country song.

Screencaps & other fun stuff can be found on our Twitter:
https://twitter.com/moodforchaospod 

 

Content Warnings:

- Abortion

- Audible chewing (briefly, right at the end)

- Blood

- Discussion of dog death (brief mention)

- Drugs/drug usage

- Emotional abuse/manipulation

- Gun Violence

- Incest

- Murder

- Pedophilia

- Suicide

 

Music: 'Imps' by Mark Revell