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Evelyn has seen every episode of Riverdale. Miranda hasn't seen a single one. Each week, they traverse the winding, trash-lined road that is the absolutely bonkers plot of CW's hit series: Riverdale. Miranda gets 3 screencaps handpicked by Evelyn, and the episode title to try and predict what's going to happen this week. Evelyn then guides her through what actually happens. And it's always, always worse than either of them could have imagined.
Episodes

Tuesday Nov 17, 2020
Season 1 Fixes: Um...Cowboys
Tuesday Nov 17, 2020
Tuesday Nov 17, 2020
Having re-capped a full season, berating it all the way, it's time for Evelyn and Miranda to put their creativity to the test and prove their thesis that there were other, less ridiculous ways to tell Riverdale's "story".
What if - and hear us out here - there WASN'T any incest? What if the school had a guidance counsellor? What if it were a tight miniseries? What if we focused on making these characters...people???
We dig into the goldmine of small-town politics, and how safe a community like that can feel...as well as how shattering it is to have that safety called into question. Was it ever really safe for everyone? All actions have consequences and when you're in a small pond, even the tiniest of ripples can be a tidal wave.
Miranda shares her favourite part of Afterlife with Archie, and talks about the time she threatened eight-year-olds with sisterly vengeance. Evelyn sings a lovely commemorative song, and will make Kevin into a three-dimensional person if it kills her. If she can also find a way to transport Riverdale to the Wild West, that would be ideal.
Also: Anyone else like tapdancing whilst nude?
Content Warnings:
- Emotional abuse/manipulation
- Incest (brief mention)
- Neglect
- Pedophilia
- Racial profiling (brief mention)
- Racism
- Religious prejudice
- Transphobia
- Suicide/attempted suicide
Music: 'Imps' by Mark Revell
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