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Evelyn has seen every episode of Riverdale. Miranda hasn't seen a single one. Each week, they traverse the winding, trash-lined road that is the absolutely bonkers plot of CW's hit series: Riverdale. Miranda gets 3 screencaps handpicked by Evelyn, and the episode title to try and predict what's going to happen this week. Evelyn then guides her through what actually happens. And it's always, always worse than either of them could have imagined.
Episodes
Tuesday Nov 03, 2020
Tuesday Nov 03, 2020
This week, we find out who did the murder... and are consequently baffled as to why this ISN'T the season finale.
A whole lot comes to light as we learn the history between the Blossoms and the Coopers (the 'Bloopers', if you will) isn't as simple as we thought, Sheriff Dad is being run ragged with all the macabre discoveries about town, someone should REALLY check in on Cheryl, and we unpack the truly bizarre origins of this show.
But first, we find out about yet another Archie adaptation. This one from 1990, and it somehow manages to give Riverdale a run for its money in how poorly it treats the characters.
Miranda is right on schedule for another tantrum of disgusted rage, and Evelyn forgets what crying is, though to be fair, this show turns you numb. We take a moment to think about the infinite universe theory...and even longer to ponder: What makes a worm a worm?
(Note for off the top: Miranda was wrong. Sophocles didn't write The Bakkhai. That was Euripides. Sorry, Mr. Euripides. Credit where credit is due)
Content Warnings:
- Abortion (brief mention)
- Emotional Abuse/manipulation
- Drug usage/drugs
- Incest
- Memory Loss
- Murder
- Sexual Assault (brief mention)
- Suicide
Music: 'Imps' by Mark Revell
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